Since I was a kid, I was interested in art. This interest mostly came about through osmosis of my dad's profession of being an artist. From there, I got into graffiti art in High School. There was a graffiti art club and I joined it through the influence of a few friends.
After I got into the grind of college, I pretty much dropped art altogether. After graduating and started working, I decided to pick it up again, but this time with the focus of anime. This was when I really started to study art - anatomy, colors, compositions, lighting, etc. I mostly did digital. I felt like I really broke through with my fundamentals in this phase.
I am getting back into art again and I want to get back into graffiti art thanks to David Choe's recent appearance on Joe Rogan. I don't think it's worth the tradeoffs to do it illegally, but I do want to do things with cans eventually. You can get some cool effects with the spray. I want to explore oil on canvas as well. You can make some really amazing looking pieces. I'm currently working with watercolor and it's been good.
I don't want to do anime art anymore. I realize that it's limiting to follow a certain style. For my art's direction, I want to focus on social justice in the United States. There's been a lot of turmoil lately and I want to use art to spread awareness or invoke emotion. Hopefully I can make a side income from this as well.
One of the most grateful things I am for my father, is to tell me NOT to get into art despite being an artist himself. It's really tough to make it as an artist, and I'm blessed from my decisions for going into computer science.
So before reading this, I had terrible luck in getting dates and only had 2 dates in the past year! One of them, I ended up having an extended relationship with, but that's a story for another day. My goal from following the guide was to get better at this dating game with apps.
I had some shitty pics taken spontaneously by friends on their mobile cameras. I had no aim when talking to girls. I would rattle on and on about random shit and never actually meet up. My theory before was to keep the dialog going and see if we get attached well enough before meeting up. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that girls have tons of options on these apps and will lose interest extremely fast.
Improvements
Alright so, first thing was to get better pictures. I have a DSLR camera, so I decided to take some pics of myself doing random everyday stuff. Typing on a keyboard for work, cooking, shirtless and doing gymnastics rings - he recommends having a shirtless pic if you have a good body.
I also updated my bio to something he recommends. He also recommends to remove all "characteristics" on Bumble to increase the size of your market. I thought this was genius. He also recommends including the bisexual orientation to yourself, but honestly I'm not sure how helpful this was.
Messaging
Next was the template on how to talk to girls. He recommends to meet up ASAP. Within 3 days otherwise your chances grow slim. If this was Hinge, I would say something about their picture or profile, otherwise in the actual chat, I usually start with "Hey you look (cute|pretty|sexy). <Something witty from a picture if possible>. I'm <name>. How's it going?" The choice of cute, pretty, or sexy really depends on their pictures. Then I respond to whatever they say and ask "what do you like to do?" I respond to what they say, then say "You seem pretty cool. I'm not looking for anything serious at the moment. If you're down to grab coffee or happy hour, drop me your digits." From there I would text them "Hey <name>, this is <name>." Just in case it's a fake or wrong number. Also to see if they're really interested or not. I'd ask them for their availability this week to meet up.
Result
I've only met up with one girl after using this method. I wasn't too into her, so that was that.
Here's a shot of what my stats from each app looks like in 35 days:
Tinder is heavily skewed because I bought Gold for it. The boosts and super likes really help.
If you take a look at Hinge, the percentages other than the "percentage accepted" stat are significantly higher and I never bought a subscription. My theory is that I'm an Asian male and I made my preferences as Asian, therefore I was able to target the market that were more inclined to date me. This proves the belief that Asian males are the least desired men in the sexual marketplace. Bumble just sucks - even when I was running the free trial phase.
Wrap Up
Next thing I'm going to try to do is to take more pictures and see which ones in which order works the best.
The verdict is that KillYourInnerLoser's guide is pretty damn good. Let's see where things will be in another month.
Beginning of August. Last chance to do summer activities!
Went to a cabin by a lake which was owned by a teammate's stepfather and it was pretty chill!
Had a good amount of philosophical discussions with one teammate, taught another the basics of floating on your back for the back stroke, and tried paddle boarding.
I will say that paddle boarding isn't really my thing. I tried shrooms for the first time as well, but that just gave me a really mellow buzz and that was it.
Aside from that, my goal is to continue experiencing more of life and trying new things. I believe this maximizes our lives as it changes our perception of time to be a lot slower.
To do this I want to automate as much menial things that take up mental and physical bandwidth. One thing is stock investing. I wanted to setup a monthly buy in with my current cash pile in Robinhood, but ended up setting limit orders instead of setting up the recurring system. Retrospectively this was a mistake as Square stock shot up by 10% today... I'll see how things go tomorrow before setting up the recurring buy in.
My plan is to do 80% in Apple and Amazon, and 20% in riskier plays like Tesla, Lemonade, and Square. This way I can feel comfortable with my money in large cap tech companies that I don't see going away anytime soon. I'm not too keen on investing in S&P 500 because a lot of companies in the list are companies I don't really care about.
Aside from that, I spoke to a potential mortgage lender from Fairway about getting preapproved for a loan. He mentioned that he was able to do a jumbo loan with loans above 750k at a rate of 3.25%, which is pretty good. I'm hoping to buy something in SF so that I can be in a place where I feel I can be happy. I have a good amount of friends there, and family of course. I also want to be near the Giants ballpark since I'm a big fan of baseball. Before doing so, I want to experience what it's like to work from New York. Maybe I can do a week of work from New York if my boss lets me. I hear it's pretty easy for guys to get girls there and I wanna see for myself. Maybe I'll end up moving there instead? Who knows, let's explore this country a bit!
After this covid ordeal and Maria, I've taken upon a new stance in life. To make my own happiness my priority. I don't really care about dating, marriage, or starting a family anymore.
Thanks to a recent podcast with David Choe and his suggestion to paint Joe Rogan, I did just that. And yes, he does have a beautifully shaped skull. Nice oval shape with smooth curves.
It's regarded as a rite of passage to being "red-pilled". Red-pilled is a term to describe being able to see behind the facades and to see things for what they really are. Red-pilled is commonly used to describe those who prescribe to conspiracy theories, but in this case, being red-pilled means seeing female's behaviors and their impact of Feminism in the Western world. The rite of passage is the book, The Rational Male by Rolo Tomassi and I’ll be writing about my thoughts about it and how it has changed my mindset on intergender relationship dynamics. As context, this is from the perspective of an adolescent male in the 21st century, living in the Western world. This is targeted to a male audience.
Being red-pilled means seeing things for what they are, instead of its facade
"Your 'education' doesn't stop once you've unplugged... One thing I remind guys who spit the red-pill back up is that there is no going back” (Tomassi 91). As a male, understanding intergender dynamics helped my ability to acquire and maintain relationships; just don’t mention that you’re red-pilled. “At its root level Game is a series of behavioral modifications to life skills based on psychological and sociological principles to facilitate intersexual relations between genders” (Tomassi 112). The Rational Male sheds light on the female nature to naive men out there, but it can pigeonhole your mindset into thinking that all women have the same hypergamous nature.
Debunking the myth of “the one”
The first thing the book dives into is debunking the myth of “the one” - the soulmate myth. “There is no ONE… There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something” (Tomassi 3). This was extremely eye opening for me as I have swallowed Hollywood’s dogma of finding true love and spending your life with someone who was meant for you. One thing I didn’t realize in those situations was that the male and female are of high value in some regard, which is the main attracting and retaining factor for the two genders. To the couple in Hollywood movies, the other was a prize from the individual’s perspective, and this is what made them a “good” one. Unlike what Hollywood teaches men, if you place the woman as the centerpiece of your life, your value in their eyes be decreased. Attention and compassion is needed in a healthy relationship, but if you make it all about her and you’re not focusing on yourself and thereby increasing your value, you’re a “bad” one to her.
Value in people
What makes a man a “good” one in a female's eyes boils down to his success and this correlates to how Alpha a man. “The take home message here is that you are not Alpha because of your achievements, you have achievements because you are alpha” (Tomassi 27). Similar to how men view women as sex objects, women view men as success objects. Tomassi’s definition of being Alpha “... implies that you necessarily rise above a certain degree of common mediocrity depending upon the context…” (Tomassi 28). Just by being a small cut above the rest of mediocrity is enough to make you an Alpha. By doing just this, this adds that extra value to yourself in comparison to the average person. However if you just work on yourself intrinsically, and don’t show any value extrinsically, women will still view you as of low value. The female’s perception of your value is important as well.
Imagine everything that you do contributing to your value
Perceived value is important, which is why having an abundance mindset when it comes to women is needed.
A Man needs to have a lot of simultaneous prospects spinning together. Think of each plate as a separate woman you are pursuing. Some fall off and break, others you may wish to stop spinning altogether and some may not spin as fast as you’d like, but the essence of plate theory is that a man is as confident and valuable as his options. This is the essence of the abundance mindset - confidence is derived from options. (Tomassi 40)
Essentially, you need to have options so that women will think that you and your time are valuable. This makes the man the prize that women are chasing after. It also is a form of social proof that other women are vetting for this man. This also needs to be done covertly, for obvious reasons. This also maintains the man’s frame in the relationship, which is really important for establishing as a high value man. What this means is that you want to have your own world going on for you - ultimately your success - and the women are the ones stepping into it, not the other way around. If things go awry in the relationship, the more emotional and needy the man becomes, the more you lose your perceived frame and value. A man with high value is what’s ultimately desired by women, and he may not be aware of his value due to the rhetoric which society teaches us about relationships and the ideal man to women.
Why men are unaware of the idea of value
Society teaches men that the women are the prize in the relationship, a man just needs to be himself to get girls, and the soulmate myth. I touched on making women the prize and the soulmate myth early on. The notion of “just being yourself” to get girls is a popular notion that usually gets reinforced by other men, who Tomassi calls “a frustrated chump” AFC for short. Consciously or unconsciously, this idea to “just be yourself” realistically brings others’ value down or at the same level it currently is. It may sound like the nice thing to say, but in reality, it is far more effective to raise your value to attract and retain another person. Tomassi compares guys that say “just be yourself” to crabs in a bucket pulling another crab, which is about to escape, back into the bucket. With media displaying men fighting tooth and nail for women, overly romantic dramas reinforcing the idealized soulmate myth, and the deceitful advice to just be yourself, men are led astray and never really fully grasp the reason as to why they aren’t where they want to be in terms of relationships.
Conclusion
The Rational Male has been eye opening in terms of female nature, but it’s not correct to assume all women are of that nature.
“... With the rise of feminization from the late 60s to the late 90s men were clueless as to their social predicament… Feminization is finally having the curtain pulled back on it. In this new age of communication, men can globally ‘share notes’ and come to their own conclusions” (Tomassi 83-84).
Tomassi states that the internet forums for game as the force that counteracts the Feminists taking over the narrative of the Western world. If this is true, then being red-pilled is nothing no better than radical feminism. These two things are opposite sides of a spectrum. Nothing is binary and human nature falls in a wide spectrum. It’s important to not get too narrow minded and see things for what they are first, then form your judgements. Not all women are hypergamous sluts. It’s easy to fall into a misogynist mindset after being red-pilled on female nature, but it’s important to think that we are both on the team - not a us versus them mentality. In the end, male and female are homo sapiens trying to make things work out in our complex Western society. We need each other for different functions since the origin of our species, and the fact remains today. Although I have enjoyed The Rational Male and have made myself keen on the behavior of women and how to make myself better appeal to women, I want to stay centered in my mind and see things for how they are before forming any judgments. We are on the same team, and if I get too far into the red-pill, it’s not much better than radical feminism.
